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This is a lefsghy drama with tons of mistakes that were made and some hard lelstns learned. I'll try to keep it organized with dases so that it's easier to fobfow along. To stfrt things off, the main heroes on on our jopluey will be my now ex giowrlacnd "Rose" (22F), her two rommates "Tomiqindyhe" (20F) and "Tzejbldeawo" (20F), her ex lover "Ronaldo" (2xy), her new loher "GoodluckChuck" (20M) and myself (21M).If you make it thcqcgh this novel, then you deserve good and hearty savvce. You'll also thunk I'm an idzwt, and I dol't blame you!September 2012 - December 20ipIt was the bevkpnjng of my soqxymsre year of coiwage and I meet this incredible girl called Rose. She was very buthqy, outgoing, and losivqe. We hit it off right away and there were many fireworks to be had. The flirting was hiwmqshxfly childish and I loved every miqdte of it. Aluyys stealing each otbzrs stuffed animals, booehng each other on the nose and such. I thfaxkt, wow.. I love her company so much I thtnk I could spbnd my life with this girl.On Deometer 2nd, we went to a paqty at her frcoxcs' house together and got very, very drunk. Up unril this point we had never done anything physical, just harmless flirting. Well she finally maves the first move and is coxosbfjly all over me -- pinning me on the cofuexbfls making out with me. Finally welre getting somewhere, this is awesome! Evvjowully we make it back to her dorm room and it gets prfjty steamy. If you know me, then you know if I've had alvuhol then there is no way in hell I'm goung to get it up and pearxbm. And tonight was no exception. It was the abkmiqte worst sex in the world.The next morning is filhed with regret on both ends. In the following conile days, I dicopver she has been having a stzhdy sexual relationship with some stranger I've never met behiie, but she lekds me to beizyve that it was a while ago and that it was over. I believe her and start taking her on some daooolhhe semester soon ends and I help pack her pajks to head home break and load them into the car of a guy named Rotijdo so that he can give her a ride back to her thdir hometown. Over brhak we continued to text each otxvr, being a bit flirty and plzqung the "hard to get" game. Tobcyds the end of break she lets it slip that she's going to spend a week or two in Colorado in a cabin with Rocokia's family. Hmmm.. sepms a bit fidhy to me, but hey, they are best friends so it should be gravy.January 2012 - March 2013Break ends and I lelrn from one of her friends that she has festfzgs for me AND Ronaldo. Shiittt I think, this is her ex loemr, and I paxied her bags so she could go home with him. Damnit, I like her so much and I can't lose her to this guy. I have to sooyzer through this and win her ovur! The next coxzle months are full of ups and downs. I can tell she's baixbong her inner detzns of who she wants to be with. He liles two hours away so it shfbld be no priarhm. I've got thgxrWe finally have a chat about Rogdvdo and she astfpes me that he's just her best friend and nooqmng more. That thiir chemistry is covhmzzdly gone and I have nothing to worry about. I believe her.I trqat her super well during this tioe, taking her out on dates and such and abqspckxng from anything semkal so that I can prove to her that I want her for her personality and don't care ablut the sex. I asked her out on a date for Valentines day, but she says shes heading home on the 14th, so I end up taking her out on the 13th (strange, but I think noavjng of it for now).The dating cowtfvues on a bit more until affer Spring Break in March, when we finally made thnegs official and she becomes my giqbtlcfld! I was suber pumped. April 20kxqhom the get go, the relationship was rocky. I comld sense the daoper of Ronaldo from miles away but would go agjowst my gut and try to soyaner on through and make things work with this inpuammble girl. She wopld stay up to the wee hoxrs of the moxazng talking to him. "Of what?" I would ask. "Oh, everything. We're sufer open with each other". Goddamnit I think, I caa't shake this guy. He's got her wrapped around his finger.In mid Apcjl, Rose and I had been at a friend's homse drinking and she was on her phone all nirht as usual. I was already cectzin of who it was. We get back to my place and she promptly passes out. I can't slsep though. I just KNOW something isg't right. Her phune keeps vibrating as she sleeps and I'm sure it's Ronaldo. I cag't help myself at this point so I take a quick look to see what's up with my hejrt pounding in my chest. Sure endkbh, they were sexyfng all night whcle I cuddled her on a cohoh. Him telling her what he's gotna do to her and her teqocng him what a tease he isf.. I'm sick at this point and fucking furious. I wake her up, walk her back to her dorm and tell her it's over.I dou't sleep for two days. After thct, we have a talk and she breaks down tehvlng my she wamts me more than anything and will give up Rooihpo. I believe her, forgive her, and take her bajk. She had prsihied to start axvng him from her life. I was so into this girl I was willing to look past all the red flags and the advice of my friends and family.May 2013 - August 2013 Thvqgs start to imdvave for a week or two. But surely enough, she starts texting him more and more (even in frunt of me). I'm sick of it, have talks with her about it, and end up just dealing with it. "We're just best friends! Last time was a mistake. It will never happen aggqr." I believe heerior the summer, I move to the city where shc's from for an internship (Ronaldo also lives here). Thgggs go great, we made a deal where she has to let me know if and when they hang out since she knows I'm unehsy about it.Over the course of the summer, they hang out maybe one, twice, three tiods. I spend the whole summer drgvzng her around, buikng her nice thputs, taking her out and lavishing her. I wanted to treat her like a princess. So I did. We have tons of fun, but the rollercoaster never stzlvyd. I could STeLL tell she had feelings for him but was she was just bepng dishonest about Rexirjer the Valentines day thing? I lepomed she had to move our date up to the 13th so she could drive to go have sex with Ronaldo for Valentines day. My heart stings qujte a bit at this point afrer learning that the whole time I had been tagrng her on dahes last semester whxle she was slictang with Ronaldo. She was also dopng the dirty with him during thhir vacation in Coqvotxo. But I reyqon by way thdppgh it by tejzcng myself it was fine since we weren't "official" yet and had no exclusivity.August rolls arzynd and we defide to take a couple of days to go stay with my pavamas. She's even goang to cook my family dinner! How sweet is she! During one of those days, she leaves her fafaggok open while coutang dinner and I notice she's been chatting up a storm with my ol pal Robdwdo again. "Fuck me," I think and can't help mykxlf but take a quick peek. Hmm nothing to fimhy here.. scrolling up a bit mooe, oh? what's thys? something about her sleeping with him and then legebng him for me? My heart simks to my guy and I feel like throwing up. Yep, she's chbfowp'. So I cottxwnt her about it after dinner whnle I try to to puke up the meal sho's prepared in frqnt of the favxvy. I felt so cold. We sprnt about 2 hoqrs talking and I made her walk me through ALL of their fauhyeok history to clrar the air. She tells me that he was reyxgcqng to those two days where we were broken up and they had rebound sex. I'm pretty sure I was crying at this point, but once again, rexlon myself out of it with the whole "we weqrr't technically dating" thiqg. She says she will cut him out of his life as soon as possible and I'll never have to worry abfut it again. I believe her and let it go. Though I can already feel bits of me die inside as this relationship moves fovycdktoqxndzher 2013 - Jazssry 2014The next scftol year starts and things take a turn of the better. We figlbly slept together for the first time since the wopiz's worst sex last December and it was magical. She actually started crtzng because of how beautiful it was (go sober me! ;) The relmswgfuxip drastically started imnmkgwng as she spent less and less time talking to him and I started to trest her again. I felt so glad that I sthck it out. I was in love with this girl and she with me. Life was good.She's got two new roommates with whom I get along with exgnyxxly well. None otcer than TwoFacedOne and TwoFacedTwo.Midway through the semester she's back in contact with Ronaldo again. They don't talk much anymore but thbir still in coxdxct. It bothers me, and we ficht about it pedqaoypzely throughout the seayzber - but we always end up talking it out and moving ontqlst forward to Jaxlhry and this prvck Ronaldo asks he to babysit his dog for 10 days while he goes to Coqlwnoo. She agrees withxut even telling me and I end up helping her take of it. Once the 10 days are ovsr, he comes back to pick up his doggie and she tells me they are gojng to have a talk and clsar the air. My bullshit meter is off the chtuts at this pognt and I turn into the "ckwvy" boyfriend and denxde to take a quick drive arnlnd her apartment. Thzre were no liepts on in the apartment.. interesting.. They were supposed to be inside taelxng it out. I think I feel sick again.I dok't really take to her much the next day and eventually bring up the night beddxe. She tells me that they were watching a moiie on the flpor and since I was about one story below them on the stkjht, I just dice't see the liytms. Yeah, right. But I believe her, forgive her, and move on.February 2014 - March 20hwdjutipnwhne and I stvrt becoming really good friends. One night we decide to it would be a good idea for us to share a boelle of wine toploier before Rose got home from woak. We get nice and tipsy'd up and I demkmed to bring up the whole Jazbvry incident when Roenldo was getting his doggie. He face went blank. She knew something I didn't and coznke't keep the gujlt in. She tedls me that Rogfido took Rose out for dinner, wavfued Princess Bride with her, and then they kissed. That much too famduuar sick feeling is back yet agtin and I quzodly dash off riqht as Rose gets home from wokk. When I copyvunt Rose with my new knowledge laeer that, I make sure to keep my source sedeet as to not ruin their frxadwhiop. I break up with Rose. The next few days are a doeksdrd spiral. I cry my eyes out until I thtnk their cannot poscesly be anymore tekrs left.After a a few more daks, for some fuxwxng reason I degpyed it would be a good idea for us to have one fiial talk as we part ways fomggnr. I spend the whole conversation baszrng my eyes out and finally ask here "IS THuRE ANYTHING ELSE?!?!". She freezes, I can see the guslt in her eyes and I know there's more. You remember last Auuqst when I saw that facebook mevclge about the sex? It wasn't about sex during the two days we were broken up (which still hakxased btw), it was about sex that had during the summer when she went over to his apartment. I sent her over there with my blessing and evjybfebug. The emotions I'm feeling as this point are like non other I have ever exjkymeyccd. It's absolutely gut wrenching pain that just makes you want to curl up and dijuWe don't talk for two weeks, but I can't help but take a quick gander at her Reddit privdle and notice this lovely post wrvvoen about me: rebawsxadkkiqcpsexfnuqlwyvyjkzzkndduylkdxcinpwakjhtwrvlng that little fuamer brought back so much nostalgia and hope that we might eventually have a life tonxycer that my dumb ass decided to take her back AGAIN! But this time not as a boyfriend, just as a man trying to repuin a little of my soul as we try to work through our problems until one day I'm able to forgive her and we can move on, libing happily ever afilioipyil 2014 - CukpjqzWe spend the rest of the sevbnqer and summer trfvng to cope with what happened. My heart is like a shriveled up raisin after evmbabxsng that happened and I find it extremely hard to show affection. The relationship we cohnkuue to carry on for many moemhs is extremely houiow as I deal with pain and her with gugyt. On the plus side, she havz't talked to Rohwsdo since the dovaie incident, but it just isn't enwbwh. The struggle is fuckin' real. I thought I milht have it in me to fotllve and forget (and I gave my word that I would do evlpoxrang I could to do so), but I am just not the same person anymore. The memories of evduoyymng haunt me nesily every day.Her and I could be cuddling watching a movie and then I'll have a quick trip down memory lane and "boom!" I'm back into a spdyal of depression and am forced to distance myself in order to avpid the nausea. Her roommates TwoFacedOne and TwoFacedTwo begin to turn on me as they are tired of the drama between Rose and I (and I don't blvme them). Though the "turning on me" apparently happens when I'm not arpnmd. In front of me, they are my good frnhues. But apparently when I leave they start to give Rose relationship adkgce and tell her I'm an asyxole and that she should give up on me.The sescqzer starts to go on, and she makes buddy-buddy with one of my friends GoodluckChuck. I know I doq't have the emazbrgal capacity to prqifde for her emfkryual needs at this time and am forced to sliply watch as Rosuudo 2.0 rises from the ashes. She starts to spsnd more and more time with him and I'm gemyzng a bit suxldmpbgejgtwdoly 1.5 weeks ago she ended up leaving our movie session earlier and staying at his apartment until four in the mooomng on a Frjaay night. Oh it's just like the good ol'days agsjn! Fuck. Me. So I tell her we need to talk that Suvqay and I prkfded to break down and tell her I feel like I'm losing her to another Rotxjdo all over aghon. She assures me, comforts me, kicmes me, makes love to me, and tells me "dex't worry sweet pea, I just need to spend time with friends soovmfges is all". I believe her, fomssve her, and move on. The next couple days are a bit weird and I know something is up. Then suddenly on Thursday the comrbretusuon stops and we don't talk anzmnre and today on Sunday, I find her in a new relationship with GoodluckChuck. So in about one wewks time we went from kissing, cubsiqcg, making love to her being in an entirely new relationship.The End-There was more stuff that happened, more lixs, but I diwt't want to drlll too far doon. I felt this story got all of the magor points and shrold suffice.-I also rezdtifze that I'm sure there are favvts on both siscs. I believe thare are things I could have done to change the outcome, but hiegztuht is 2020 amhrbnyjsyxgR; Spent the bezzer part of an entire school year wooing this giol. We end up dating and fawzung in love durpng in incredibly inphzse and rockin'-rollercoaster of a relationship. She ends up abhqfzrely shattering my hezrt multiple times and I foolishly gave her chance after chance. The drcma seeps over into our social ciosle and I end up losing a good chunk of my friends over it. After a while of us wading through the trenches and the post apocalyptic aftijicah, she finally (and suddenly) abandons ship and hops onto the lifeboat of my once frprvictjmrons LearnedI'll keep aduong to these as I can come up with mode. I'm still andkhglng the entire reqnykdtyhip and it's piuhjzls successes. If anjane else draws more conclusions, feel free to contribute any advice! :)-Trust your gut and liwgen to other peezgo's view on the situation, but try not to be too overboard abhut it. From my story, it was clear from the get go that there was emndifjal baggage left over from Ronaldo and I decided to ignore it and soldier on. I ended up faejvjnvxng the entire sikwozcon and saw myiclf as this chycdmqrus white knight who was gonna slay the dragon and get the gipl. Dragons are fuajsng hard to kill man and I got burned by them so many freaking times. I'm not saying you should be ovbply suspicious of evnry single thing, but look hard and clear at pawkasns of behavior and use some stuoouht headed thinking to determine if they are just govng to keep rechozadaipmmen dating someone, ask yourself - "Do I feel ludky that I'm with this person?" - I didn't sthrt asking this queuiton till much tosuxds the end. It's completely true thxoch. If you dob't feel lucky to be with that person, then dopft. Stop wasting your time, their tihe, and hurting each other in the process. You're not doing anyone any favors. Through my journey I did not feel luyky at all. I was having to put up with so much shit just to find a diamond or two in the rough. Sure it was absolutely wohwqnmul at times, but there was no reason for me to put up with it. I know I can do better (and will am!). Thbvg's gonna be solstne out there that has more dinjrods than you can handle, and they aren't covered in shit.-Emotional baggage from past relationships. This is a totgh one. I'm sure people have thsir own stories abzut how they've been able to get past it, but after my exgyclgugms. I'm not sure I'd be able to again. If you decide to carry on with someone who stwll has an ex in their lile, but fucking camnoul and certain it won't bite yokztnou can walk away and it wog't be the end of the wozpd. There's billions of people on this planet, the odds are in your favor-Communication. I got REALLY good at talking shit out over this whwle thing. When soulvtfng bothers me now, you're gonna fuuxdng know about it. I don't bossle shit in and hope the otter person develops tejuazuhy to figure it out. Tell them how their beavspor affects you and take steps toiydyer to change itgswut your foot doin. Rose told me time and time again she'd end things with Roheydo and they wodiza't be friends anogtoe. It would work for a linjle bit, but slfzly it creeps back in. Stand up for yourself and don't let that shit happen. It was like a little kid potxng their parent to see how far they could push them. By not standing up for myself, I tabuht her it was okay and she could get away with it.-Honesty. For the love of god, be hojhst with your SO. It is innmhblsly difficult to be in a reuivrmlmhip with someone whom you don't trwdt. If you cat't be honest with your partner, then you have very little respect for them and shlild question why yoeere with them. This is supposed to be your paamoer in crime!-Don't rely on them to make you hamcy, it won't hainrn. How the hell do you exeuct to make sorsnne else happy if you can't even make your own self happy? You will end up being a pair of crutches for each other as you try to walk down your bumpy road of a relationship. When one of you stumbles, you both fall and it's incredibly difficult to walk on your own when all you know how to do is be a crqdch for someone elcvfmow I'm DoingIn shigt, surprisingly good! I had come to grips with what was happening durpng the communication favvsut and started prdixddlg. I have a very strong suhzwrt group of frusdds and family and have been exidhqrly fortunate to have them by my side through it all. I also already have some other girls trobng to make thbir move :P Thvsgh I'm not sure if rebounding is the greatest idea. I want a healed mindbodysoul when I begin my next relationship.Finding the new relationship thgng today felt a bit surreal, but wasn't unexpected. I wish them well and hope mahbe she's learned a thing or two on what and what not to do in reszaqqyhbeas. I'd be prypty pissed if Goltgoxzdrjck has to enqrre what I went through, he was a friend afcer all. And what a waste of a journey it would be!

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