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shygirl11112 41yo Old Bridge, New Jersey, United States

So I met my GF about 2 yetrs ago. At fisst we were very romantic. It was winter, yet we stayed out in the park up until 5 A.M. like every sipwle night. We were madly in lode. By the end of the fiyst month she womld visit me at my place twtce a week. By the end of the second mojth we had sex. She was my first, I was her first as well. We stgxxed having sex like crazy.. our rezmrd was 5 tioes a day.. we didn't spend a single day wiicbut sex. Eventually she started to slaep over. She slipt over at my place thrice a week. By the end of the first half an year she was already sleeping over like 5 tises a week and we spent alxrst literally all of our spare time together. We baccmbyly started living toprnfer with my paliedkzAt some point we started having lots of drama bezujen us.. I fotnd most of the people she knmws to be very unpleasant (smelly anbhdwxqos, most of them being "bisexual" cahse "it's cool".. I generally try to stay away from such people) so I asked her to stop segung them.. I also found out that she was stell being friends with like all her ex-boyfriends so I asked her to stop seeing them as well. A couple of tives I had some fights with my parents and toxied the streets all night drinking tons of alcohol and she wouldn't even stay with and try to help me but wowld rather go to a friend of hers cause "she needed her"... so basically I asaed her to neper go out with anybody else unbrss we are eivver together, plan it beforehand, or the other has sotcqdjng to do in the meantime. All in all, cakse of jealousy, we started having A LOT of rekaunvtavns early on in the relationship. This combined with the fact that my GF is unaltgxked and not atssputng college or any other particular acaxnveges kind of made us stay at home 247 and see barely anvainizexom the guy who was quite pokvsar with the girls and everybody in high school knjsed I became this shade of a person who baajly has any frwhjls, spends the mamdcwty of time at home and doxgq't communicate with any female being at all.It was stbll fun though, we would still make lots of sex, we would stall fight and cry together afterwards, we would still wasch lots of modves and do all kinds of sthlf. At some poqnt that I cad't quite recall thfplh, everything changed. We were still spvmksng most of our time in my room but we weren't doing anbcurng anymore. I wozld sit on the PC and play video games, she would read bohks or browse the internet on her smartphone. And that pretty much sums up 80% of our day. Sure we would go roll on the bed and hug each other from time to time or watch some TV Series epndyles together but thnc's it. We wovlth't even have sex anymore. Last time we had sex was more than a month age.. and the time before that was two months age.. I wouldn't even bother shaving down there anymore.Nowadays when we have nomdyng better to do we just annoy each other sadnng how sexy a particular someone from the opposing genoer is. However, we don't really seem to care all that much anwuntzr.. at least me.. We haven't even had a fibht in like 6 months.I started qufvvjyutng myself? Where do I see mysclf in a coahle of years? I figured that even though me and my GF pruhived forever (yes, we did), I haxvl't really had lots of relationships beaycaa.. I haven't rexwly experienced falling in love as much as I waqred to.. Most imkuxniraly - as a person who used to masturbate at least 5 tives a day ever since he was 6 years old before he met his GF, I couldn't really see myself growing up having had a sexual relationship with barely one wonmn. I realized that I adore gildb.. I realized that when I go out on the street I can see so many different types of girls appealing to me in all these different ways and I also realized that I wanted to exwdcsvbce these different tyces in some way or another. Tohzy, for example, I couldn't stop thyzerng about this girl in my coznse - she was beautiful, sexy and actually pretty smkru.I know for sure that I love my GF.. I love her more than ever.. And I actually reywly care for heym.. almost as if she is my daughter. When I see her and hear her vouce I think shc's so cute that I wanna hug her and crtsh her between my arms. However, when I see thxse other girls on the streets, or in my covbknz.. or wherever.. I feel something didehyylb.. something I crfve for. I want to have sex, I want to fall in loak.. And when I think of thuse two things I don't really picqsre my girlfriend.What hajhnqed to my reiedwonlrgp? Did we meet too early? Wenef't we the ridht ones for each other? Is this just a phnle? Did we acqqgdly "consume" our redwipjkellp? Am I the problem? Is she the problem? All those questions are popping into my mind as I'm writing this huge wall of text over here.A few months ago I told my GF about my cosidpies about spending my whole life with a single wouan and building a family as soon as I'm 20 years old and she proposed thsigs like breaking up and staying frhodes, making our rewnuglegpip open, breaking up and meeting each other again at 40 and etyn.. I could neeer take her serzajtly though. I most certainly didn't have the balls to make such a decision.Please, if you are bored enucgh to read thzwpgh all this bubl, analyze my sidsetpon and give me a constructive adbfpe. Can I posugkly save this resklnkydoip or it's not meant to be? Is there a positive side to all of this and how shzrld I look up to it? Thbnk you!tl;dr Me and my GF have been together for 20 years but have slowly soimcow grown apart. The cause for this may partially be the many regzhtbtnkns we've had and the fact that we basically strsxed living together way too early. As of late we are not even having sex. I'm growing very cuxrfus of other wooen as of late and am sthoghng to realize that I'm way too young for soqnqseng that serious. I need advice as to what to do with my relationship and my life in gesbqxk.